Mz O In The Mix
Mz O In The Mix
Transforming Lives with the Discipline of Self-Preservation Part 2
Every time I passed by the mirror, I noticed the weight of exhaustion in my reflection, and I knew something had to change. That's when the journey of self-preservation and setting healthy boundaries began. Join me, Mz O, in a heartfelt conversation about transforming our lives by prioritizing self-care and discipline. We'll unwrap the essentials of saying no, embracing solitude, and how 'doing nothing' can surprisingly lead to our most productive selves. It's a candid exploration of how clarity can emerge from the chaos when we firmly choose ourselves first.
Have you ever rewarded yourself for a job well done, only to realize the deeper satisfaction came from the journey, not the treat at the end? This episode is a celebration of self-respect and personal growth, as we discuss the significance of rewarding our accomplishments and the power of consequences. I'll share my personal strategies on how to enforce boundaries that protect our time and energy, and the importance of 'Mondays for me'—a practice to reclaim control and ensure the week begins on our terms. It's about the delicate dance between kindness to self and the accountability that breeds happiness and order in our lives.
As we wrap up this episode, I reach out to you, my listeners, for your voices to be heard. Your experiences, your struggles, and your victories add immense value to our community. I invite you to connect, to share your feedback, and join me on Instagram for a peek into my personal world, where together we navigate the artistic journey of life. Remember, this podcast is more than just a conversation; it's a shared path to finding peace within ourselves. So, until we meet again, take that step back, embrace your clarity, and cherish the tranquility you've crafted in your daily routine.
Hey guys, and welcome back to MizzO in the mix. We're on part two of self-preservation and yeah, this is interesting, it goes deep. I don't usually do part one and two, but hey, we trying something new. I am still sewing canvas, baby, and we're gonna get jump into this self-preservation topic. I'm gonna just want to recap, like we talked a little bit about you know what self-preservation is and gave the definition to self-preservation in part one. And these are the three things we talked about. You know, setting boundaries, choosing yourself first, simplifying your life. Those were the three things, that three tips that you know you walked away with. That I was able to give to you the last time, and now we just gonna dive just a little deeper into some self-preservation things that you can do on a daily basis. You know, I kind of went to a ramp for on the last one, as I pretty much normally do, but that's neither here nor there, remember you get tough luck here. All right, let's just do some homework real quick, get your pen and pad ready. You will have homework to do. There's always notes to take, because note takers are money makers and you can improve your life at any point, in any stage. You never know what I might say. If this is your first time tuning in, I welcome you with open arms to a not-so-judgmental song. Just a little tough love. If you're driving, keep both hands on the wheels and eyes on the road, even while laughing. If there are small children around, wear earbuds, because I cuss. If you're saying to yourself well, why would you cuss? Why don't you just not cuss? Because it's authentically me. Damn it, that's what I do. You don't like it. I'm not sorry, but you don't have to listen to me. You just go miss these facts, these little tidbits of information. That's gonna make your life better and no, I'm not trying to work on it. My higher self likes it. I'm keeping it okay and listen. Don't forget to listen to this episode again. You may have missed something because you keep laughing. That's on you, but please listen to it again and if you're returning, welcome back. You know I miss you guys and I really do. Thank you for all the support that you do provide here for Mizzow and the mix in and out on all my other platforms.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is the year module business and posture plants. Yeah, so let's get into it, people. I am still sewing, like I said, so I'm gonna keep sewing. I'm gonna keep sewing my candy, alright.
Speaker 1:So, like I said, we end it with simplify your life the last time and this time around. If I don't triple, but it's dead going, she is good, okay, this time around we want to just still take a look at the self-preservation and how, what, what things can we implement into our lives, just like you know, setting boundaries, simplifying your life, choosing yourself first. What other things are we able to do to create a lot, a longer lasting life, a longer, healthier, lasting lifestyle? What can we do? And what I think and I try to do is make a little bit more time for me. Making time for yourself is not overrated and it should not be found upon, and when I'm talking about making this time for yourself, I'm talking about doing it every day, inconsistently. Whether you take yourself out on a nice evening stroll, making walking a part of your self-care routine, that's something that you need to do for you, and you don't have to do it with 15 other people.
Speaker 1:Maybe part of yourself here is actually spending time with other people. I don't know you, I don't know your life, but even if you came into this world with a twin, my friend, my friend. You need to find some you time because I have twins at home. I don't know how to spend all that time the guys. That drives me insane, but you need to. You need to find time for you. You need to find time to spend by yourself because you need to learn who you are, your likes and your dislikes, your wants and your needs. Fine time, find your time. Okay. You need to start to implement things where you have time to self-reflect and you have time to just if you do nothing.
Speaker 1:Doing nothing is doing something. I'm gonna say it again doing nothing is actually doing something. When you're sitting there, you think that I'm wasting time just sitting around and not doing anything. You are doing a lot. You are gathering information on yourself. You might not know it at the time, you may not even understand what's really happening at the time, but you are working hard on yourself. You are building strategies to help you cope with the rest of your day with people.
Speaker 1:You are reseting your brain. I know you probably think I'm being coo-cooing crazy, but really not. You are be setting your brain. You are allowing yourself time, space and and it is a moment of clarity that you're developing I Love talking while I'm doing something else. I mean, I'm just sewing, but it's so. It feels so good and Also helps me to calm down. For those of you listening, I think I talk too fast, which I do, so Listen, a sense of clarity. Let's go back to that. That's important. We all strive for clarity and when we don't get clarity, you ever notice how life seems so chaotic.
Speaker 1:Clarity and chaos, man, they go hand in hand. They like double-decks and male or miracle, with whatever that creamy stuff is that you're gonna put on. Um, it's Clarity and chaos. No clarity, you get chaos. There's no clarity, chaos is going to occupy the space. So you need to get clear about life, get clear about your words, get clear about your needs, because the moment that you just let chaos run them up is running the muck over here. It's running the muck over there. I watch it run a muck a lot around me. It like they're running circles. They like to bring a frame of two, cause some chaos and with another, relationship and friendship, more people and work at home. No clarity causes chaos. And guess what chaos? Chaos don't like to be alone. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Chaos say hey, drama, come here, drama, you want some of this. Let's call Some drama. You don't believe me. Watch, look where the chaos is in your life and you'll understand Damn, I don't have clarity there. I don't have clarity there. That's part of self-preservation. No, something's got to fill the void. Something has got to fill the void so you can choose To not have clarity, to not find that time for yourself, to not sit there. You think you're wasting time because you ain't doing nothing, thinking it's sick. Thank you sitting in your five people to say why are you still sitting in? You always just sitting there. That's because You're gaining clarity. So your ass don't have like chaos, you might want to tell me. So your ass don't have like chaos. You might want to tell them to listen up and do it too.
Speaker 1:I will say the moment that I started to slow down and look at life and become clear on who I am, what I want and where I plan on going. Chaos has to take a back seat and go somewhere else. Now, don't get me too. Don't get it twisted. Chaos be showing up. Chaos shows up for me. Chaos shows up for me in all the areas of my life where I'm not sure of and I don't have clarity about, chaos presents itself. Now I'm showing in theater number. It's like I kid you not. It's a loud ass announcement. And if I had a ticket tape across my forehead it would say now introducing chaos where there's no clarity. That movie is always playing and is always starring, whoever it is, whoever's life it is. So you, the star, understand, you are the star baby. Now you ain't getting no more money, but you are the star of that show. You are the A-list actress or actor of that show, because it's up to you whether you gain clarity or choose oh my God, that oil painting is so strong, I'm sorry or choose to have chaos run amok. It is.
Speaker 1:It's not easy to get rid of the chaos and I'm always trying to creep back in, but then you know, oh my gosh, something isn't clear, something is misunderstood, something needs to be fixed, like yesterday, because chaos is running amok. Chaos, good old chaos. Please don't name your kid chaos. If you're young and you listen to me and you don't have no kids, don't you name that child chaos. I'm just saying Please, please don't. It came tomorrow. I told you I'm an intuitive person.
Speaker 1:Somebody over here is thinking about it. If no, it's not a good idea. If your friends didn't tell you. They don't think. You better think about who loved you, because that is not a good idea. Don't do that to them, baby. Alright.
Speaker 1:So now we covered that. You understand you want to be a star in your life, but you don't want. You don't want to have chaos it start. You know the show is all about chaos. You want the show to be about clarity and you are the star of the clarity show. Okay, so I need you to really focus on that. Now. That's all about finding the time for yourself. We're going to move into the second one. Alright, I have one of the weird long pauses I had for cough. It wasn't a long pause for you, but it was for me, anywho. So the next tip I wish to present to you For self preservation, you need discipline, self discipline, like I'm, like I need to discipline myself.
Speaker 1:Yep, you need to learn to punish yourself. You need to learn to reward yourself. You need self discipline. We're always looking to do so much for others and doing so much for others. We tend to neglect ourselves at times or we'll do shit for nobody and all we do is for ourselves. Now, don't get a twist. It is people like that you need, y'all, as needs some self discipline too, because your chaos will come in a different way. But I'm not going to get on those folks right now. Okay, we're going to stick with the people who actually give to others. And hear me out Self discipline. If you cannot do for yourself, but you always want to do for somebody else, you need to learn how to reward yourself. You need to learn to do something for you, and I don't care if people don't understand it. That's not your business. Who cares? If people don't need to know how you reward yourself, your reward might be going to the casino. That's your business. Boo, don't spend your rent money because I can't help you, but your reward could be a vacation, a weekend getaway. Because you work so hard. You gain clarity. You learn to take on one at birth In a different way.
Speaker 1:You've built some healthy boundaries. This looks so pretty. I wish y'all could see it. Anyway, you have done beautiful things for yourself, so you can reward yourself. Now, what happens when you don't do beautiful things for yourself? Meaning you have not stood by your boundaries. You've let people come in and walk all over you. You've let people disrupt your flow without putting that ass back in check People just running amok all through your life With no regards for you or what you need. They don't care. They do not care. So, with them, not caring with them, not giving a rest, but about you and you not putting them in your place or in their place, it's starting to cause chaos to arise again.
Speaker 1:What's your self discipline for that? What do you take from yourself? You letting other people take from you, so now you take from yourself. It's not going to feel good. Just as we take from children when they do something that's naughty or not deemed appropriate, we take something from them. What do you take from yourself? See, because as we get older and we become adults, some of us who are adult age still are not adults. That's a different topic for another day. However, as we become adults, we don't have that discipline there anymore. We don't have mom or dad or grandma whoever to discipline us, to tell us that because we didn't do X, y and Z, we can't do A, b and C. We don't have that. So what are you going to do? To discipline yourself, to implement a way for you to understand what you let happen is not acceptable. What are you going to do? What steps will you take so you know that you can't let that keep happening. What are you going to do?
Speaker 1:Self discipline, whether it be good or whether it be bad, punishment, we call it punishment. How do you punish yourself? In addition, it's not just about reward, it's not just about the word punish. If you can reward yourself, you can punish yourself. I don't know what that ringing was, but that was different in my ear. If you can reward yourself, you can punish yourself. You got to figure out how you're going to do that, because someone already disrespected you. You put up the boundary, they stepped over the boundary, you didn't stand up to it. So the next time they're coming back again to test that boundary again, do you give yourself a break? In the next time they come back, you handle it, or do you just say I didn't handle it right then and there. I'm going to just follow up and let them know hey, you crossed over a boundary, I gave myself time to think about it and I needed to bring it up to you. If you didn't bring it up right then and there. How are you going to punish yourself when someone just keeps stepping over the boundary and you don't stand up for your boundary?
Speaker 1:What do you take away from you Because you're already taking self-respect away. I'm going to tell you that right now. What do you take away from yourself? What joy do you take away from yourself? If I didn't clean my room or if I don't wash my laundry, I take stuff away from myself. I punish me like I would punish my children. In that way, it couldn't play the game. If I can't do artwork or I can't watch my new favorite show, I have to skip it and actually do the task I was supposed to do. And no, I don't get to watch that day either.
Speaker 1:It sounds silly, but you wouldn't believe how it makes you become accountable for the things that you let slide. It's a part of self-discipline, and a lot of people are not willing to do that. I'm grown, I'm grown is what people want me to say. I'm grown, I'm grown. Well, yeah, you could be grown, but you're not growing up things like you're supposed to be doing. In fact, you're not even going to do the things that you said that you supposed to be doing for yourself. Say you're lying to yourself. Or if you've lied to yourself, you've mistreated yourself, but you want somebody else to treat you right. Not going to happen. It's just not going to happen. I'm going to cut my string too short. I'm so upset. Anyway, it's just not going to happen. So you've got to find a way to make sure you don't fail yourself.
Speaker 1:And it's not easy to stand up to people. It's not. It's not easy to force boundaries, especially when you've been either a people pleaser all your life or you just hate confrontation. So you just that easy going. But look, I want to believe most people are really nice and respectful, you know, but in reality we know that's not the case. You're going to come across someone that doesn't care, that doesn't care about your boundaries. They only think of themselves. It's because they have a lot of stuff that they need to work out. No, that doesn't mean you have to treat them like crap, but it doesn't mean that you're going to give them permission to do whatever they want to do to you. So that's just some proof for what. All right, I tell you, it's not easy Confirming people making a life or simplifying your life or cutting people out of your life.
Speaker 1:It's not easy, but it's necessary. It is necessary. You've got to take charge of your life. You've got to, you've got to become number one for you. There's just no other way to put it. You have to think of yourself first. You have to all these different things you must do, and you must do consciously, consciously. You have to build them consciously so you automatically begin to do them subconsciously whenever a threat arrives Ever a threat arrives. There are so many people out there that manipulate and take advantage of people every day and some people just don't see it and they just don't know because they just don't have these things that we've discussed in part one and part two of putting in place to protect themselves from others who are like that. People will only take from you as long as you are willing to keep giving it to them. It's not easy telling people no, it's not easy putting up boundaries. Make it easy and you make it easy by at least starting Start somewhere. Pick something, simplify your life.
Speaker 1:Say on Mondays, don't call me, I don't do anything on Mondays, but sit there by myself doing what I want to do, and I can say that so forcefully and so strong because that's what I do. Mondays are for me Mondays. If I choose to do something for someone else, understand that I'm taking that time away from me. I understand it. I know it's not coming back because Monday is the day that I've given myself. I used to do that when my son was little. I mean I always had dinner prepared. You know, I cooked for the week. Lunches was done, those are packaged and I just started doing that again recently. He's a grown ass man, but now I do it again in my daughters. They're almost teenagers. In a couple of weeks They'll be teenagers and I'm like, hey, mondays are for me. I did it with your brother, I'm doing it with myself. Why should I say brothers, and now I'm doing it for myself with you.
Speaker 1:Okay, take your time back, take your life back. That's the last thing I'm going to leave with you today. You know you usually find the time, but now you need to take your life back. Once you find the time, take your life back. You take it back by giving people rules that they cannot break in your life and if they break them, they have to understand the consequences come with their actions, consequences of crossing boundaries that have been put in place. Come with some serious penalties. That might be me talking to you less. That might be me telling you off in your face of what you've done, and if you're not my friend afterwards, because you can't respect that. That means we're done. Our time has come to an end. It's hard, but it happens. It's hard but it happens, and I do mean it with love. Take back your life.
Speaker 1:Nothing here is for free. Nothing is given for free to us. Everything comes with the price. So why don't you go out and save what you're willing to pay, instead of having people stick their hands in your pocket and take what they want, because that's what you're doing. When you don't set these boundaries for your self-preservation. You can be married. You still have to have boundaries as an individual for the other party to learn to respect whether you are a female, whether you are a male, but I don't care what you are. If you are living and breathing, you have to have boundaries for your own self-preservation.
Speaker 1:My favorite line that I like to share with my family in my household is I am your mother, not your me. You live here too. Why are you waiting for me to initiate a household cleanup? Get up, clean up, do something. And it took a long time for me to even say something like that because I felt so tired, so bad. Like am I wrong? Like hell. No. I woke up one day I said, to hell with this. Everybody in the living room, look, I am not your maid, I am your mother. I am tired.
Speaker 1:I work from the time that I get up to the time that I finally decide I can go to sleep. I'm like no, I can't. The hardest job that I ever had was being a stay-at-home parent. It is not for me. I don't like it. I don't want to do it. It's too much damn work and no appreciation and damn sure no pay. I don't want to be a 1-24-7. I want to. So I went back into the work world and became an entrepreneur so I can at least have some money. People still don't appreciate you, but whatever, I ain't in that house with them all damn day, I can't do it. I can't do it y'all. But I had to build in boundaries. Self-preservation, self-preservation. That was our conversation we've had here for the last two episodes. I hope you got something valuable out of it.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I find that when things are given and dropped off in a simple matter or a simple form, so much is received so much more. I don't use fancy, big, elegant words, I use the simple shit, the shit that if you fired you couldn't understand. I don't use these elaborate terms, it's not me, it's not going to happen, and if I can't spell it, I'm not going to say it. Probably wouldn't pronounce it right anyway. But I love that part because it's me, it's me and just as transparent as I could be about that, it's as transparent as you need to be about your boundaries, about what you're not going to allow people to do to you. We've allowed people to walk all over us. We've allowed people to tell us and determine what our lives really mean. How much is our life really worth, and I'm calling that a bunch of bullshit.
Speaker 1:Today is the day that you say, uh-uh, here's my boundary. If you cross it, this is what's going to happen. You better have a good damn reason to why you're crossing that boundary. We have it in life. Girl code, guy code, whatever you want to call it is a street code for this. It's a code for that.
Speaker 1:We know how to maneuver in a grocery store because there's certain rules or certain shit you can't do. You can't go on the ice cream aisle, just pop one open, start eating it and put it back. You know why. You won't let somebody come up here and talk to you like they got two heads and a third tongue coming out their ear. What they ask, whichever they're going to come in here all kind of crazy. We're not going to do that. We're going to. We have boundaries and we deserve respect.
Speaker 1:So, as I was starting to go off on another tangent and didn't talk about ice cream, I have come to realize I think I'm hungry. So I want to say I'm going to end it here and say thank you all for listening. I hope you have gotten something out of this. I hope that it helps you to push forward and think about your self preservation in another way. I might be doing this. It might be a part one and part two, for you know, two main episodes a month.
Speaker 1:Let me know what you think. Send me a message over at MizzowInTheLix at gmailcom. Give me some feedback. Hey, write a review. Let me know Love it or hate it. A review is a review, guys, I would like to know where I stand with you. I'm opening up a boundary. I would like to know where I stand with you. So, with that being said, don't forget to follow me over on MizzOriginator MizzMZ underscore originator over on Instagram. Yes, and if you want to see what the heck I'm doing as far as art is concerned, you can follow me at artbydornsherry, if you can remember it. That's cool, that's great, and go check it out there and subscribe to the podcast. I appreciate each and every one of you and, with that being said, I am going. I love you and I'll talk to you later. Bye.