Transforming Lives with the Discipline of Self-Preservation Part 1

Have you ever put on that proverbial oxygen mask of self-care when life's cabin pressure drops? My latest heart-to-heart on Mz O In The Mix is a candid exploration of self-preservation, where I share tales of personal triumph and invite you to reflect on the forces that may be dwindling your own peace of mind. We peep behind the curtain of terms like "work-life balance" and "self-improvement," revealing the raw truth of protecting our mental, physical, and spiritual health. 

Choosing yourself isn't selfish; it's essential, and that's the mantra we chant in this episode. We tackle the delicate art of saying no and the critical craft of setting boundaries, from the dinner table to the boardroom. The conversation sails through the choppy waters of authenticity and resilience, guiding you to navigate societal expectations and the distorted mirrors of social media with a steadfast compass of self-love.

Excitement is brewing in the Mz O universe as I spill the beans on our upcoming YouTube channel and the expansion of our podcast—visuals pending, but the voice remains. Wrapping up on a note of gratitude, I assure you that our journey is just beginning. So, if you're eager to embrace empowerment and reinforce your bastion of self-preservation amidst the chaos of our beautiful world, don't just stand there—join in, subscribe, and stay tuned for the adventure that awaits.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Hey everyone, and welcome back to another Mizzow in a Mix. Join us today as we discuss self-preservation. This here is a topic that I feel we don't talk about enough or we beat around the bush when we do engage with this topic. We call it work like balance, we call it getting in touch with your higher self, we call it exercise, we call it aerobics, we call it A New Year's resolution, we call it so many things. But to tell you the truth, no matter how you slice it, it's still talking about self-preservation, and we only scratch the surface. We don't technically dive really deep into it. Each and every one of us has something that we know is not in our benefit and it is damaging our self-preservation. So I want to talk about that today and, believe me, this will only scratch the surface. It won't dive as deep as we could into it, but at least it sparks the thought in your mind of what you should be doing to help self-preserve who you are. So get your pen and pad ready. You'll have homework to do at the end, guys, and if this is your first time tuning in, I welcome you with open arms to not a soul judgmental zone, just a little tough love. Keep both hands on the wheel and eyes on the road, even while laughing. If there are small children around, wear earbuds, because I cut. I have no control over it. I don't wish to control it. It's part of my personality. You either take it or leave it. You hate me or you love me. I don't look for you to pat me on the back, I just look to be authentically me and that's it. If you are returning, welcome back. Guys. You know I miss you and I thank you so much for being supportive of the show and supportive of me and listening to me babble, make these weird jokes or just sound a little, I guess, a little cringing at times. But I thank you. I really do appreciate you.

Speaker 1: 3:34

So, of course, this is the year of Manjia, business and Pacha plants. You know we're continuing on this health journey, focusing on our mental, physical and spiritual side. As always, there's no politics on the show. I don't like to discuss politics. I don't care to discuss religion. Yes, the spiritual nature. We all have some type of spiritual, mystical part about us, but I don't go into those things. I might say some things periodically as I'm an intuitive reader and all that, but I don't dive deep into religion. There's other places and platforms for that, yeah.

Speaker 1: 4:13

So let's dive on into it and let's talk about some self preservation, which I'm pretty sure you're lacking in the same as I am, all right now. Oh, if you hear any weird pauses is because I'm pausing this thing, so I don't have a coughing spell, I'm not sick, I just get this dryness is weird and it's annoying and I don't want to start drinking water, okay, and coffee is just ill, no. So if you hear like awkward pauses, like why she pause right there, I understand that I pause this thing and I'm in a coughing spell, but I'll return, okay. So, with that being said, let's just jump on in here. So let's start with self preservation. The actual dictionary definition, or whatever you want to say, self preservation is the protection of oneself from harm or debt, especially regarded as a basic instinct in human beings and animals. So that is one of the many definitions that is here. And, to go further, I'll give you another little cliff note that they have less in here. That's what I call it Cliff notes.

Speaker 1: 5:43

Self preservation is the action of keeping yourself safe or alive in a dangerous situation, often without thinking about what you're doing. That's, that's tough when you don't think about it. You just react. You know, point of case, there's a dog chasing you and you know that dog catches you is a 95% chance that that dog is going to bite you. And you know that dog is going to bite you because that dog has teeth. That's all that matters. The dog has teeth, so that dog is definitely going to bite you in your mind. So your instinct is to run and get your safety to self to safety, and most of the time people do that. Some people may decide not to run, but it's going to be based off of how you feel. Your reaction to dogs determines what your self-preservation will be.

Speaker 1: 7:15

I know that that sounds like common sense, but to some people it may not be, or common knowledge for me, moving into a different frame of this story, the self-preservation I'm concerned about, for us at this current time, would be self-preservation in our everyday life now, the stress that you receive between society, family, your nine to five, being an entrepreneur, all those things you need to build self-preservation tactics for now. How do you do that? Have you done it? That's my question for you. Have you built self-preserving tactics for these things in life, for things that may arise for work. We in. I'm going to talk about work. Yes, I am, because I work and I have a. You know being an entrepreneur and then having a nine to five also, and it can be extremely stressful whether you have the extracurricular as an entrepreneur or not, or that your main gig or your nine to five is your main gig.

Speaker 1: 9:09

To each his own, I will say that I realized that I was surviving on or surviving on the whim. I did not build self-preservation tactics with, you know, to sustain my life in the work environment. This is something that I've been thinking of most recently. I haven't been contemplating this for years. I haven't worked all these kinks out, but I it's come to my attention, and this comes to my attention while I'm in meditation or in my meditation is create, being creative and doing my artwork and figuring out how do I make life better for me so I can make life better for others.

Speaker 1: 10:10

So, in the circumstances of working for someone else or for yourself, you, you know you spend a lot more time around the people you work with than the people who are in your family or outside of that environment, and lately I've come to realize that you have to build in self-preserving tactics to help you stay clear of the harmful things, the petty things, the things that drain you, the things that tell you you're not good enough, the things that say you you don't add up, you are, you are not as important as you see yourself to be and I'm not picking fun at my nine of five, I'm noticing this throughout all my nine of fives about just the way people operate, and you can take this wherever you want to go, if you is not just my at my job and it's just not how I feel, but this should be how you feel and how you see yourself. From the, from the CEO of a company down to the damn janitor, we all need self-preservation tactics and some of those things require big-ass boundaries. Some of those things require you being able to say I'm enough for what I do, but if I'm not valued, you should be able to walk away. Now I'm not telling you to quit your job, I'm not telling you to leave. I'm telling you to build proper boundaries and make people buy by those boundaries. Make it known how you feel. Whether it's your family, your mother, father, sister, brother, grandfather's aunts, uncles, it doesn't matter. Your kids, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1: 12:49

Set boundaries for self-preservation. That's one of the things that you need to know and that's one of the things that you need to understand and start working on today is set boundaries. Now you know you get homework from me. I told you to write it down. I will repeat it at the end, but one thing, like I said, to do is learn to set boundaries. People will only respect you and help to preserve you as long as they need you. Now, while we're talking, I'm sewing, I'm trying to focus, but my ADHD is at an all time high today, people, so just rock with me on this. So if you hear something pulling a dragon, is because I'm sewing through canvas.

Speaker 1: 14:09

Anywho, setting boundaries helps you to sustain yourself just a little longer. For the things that you would want to accomplish in life, the things that you feel you need to say. There are some things that we know we need to do, like work so we can make money, we can eat, we can feed our family those things that we know we need to do. And then there are the things we know we want to do for ourselves in life and goals we want to achieve. But the only way we can begin to accomplish anything outside of the things that we need to do is by self preservation and with that, like I said, you have to set boundaries, and boundaries sound so mean. Oh my God, it sounds like the end of the world to some people. When you decide that you just not going to take they should know more you decide that you're going to stand up for yourself and you're going to show people what you're willing to do and what the hell you're not willing to do.

Speaker 1: 15:51

People get really offended by that. Oh my God. How could you, how could I love and respect myself? How could I end a friendship because you treat me like crap? How could I? You know it mean. You can go on and on and on. How could I just choose myself first?

Speaker 1: 16:22

That's a nasty one, but in self preservation, you need to choose yourself first. That's another one right down, right down. You need to choose yourself first. The same situation when you're on an airplane, right, and the mask fall down and they tell you cover or put your mask on yourself first. Well, what the heck do you think happens? For self preservation, you need to choose yourself first. It's not a bad thing. People will say it's just so selfish. No, the hell, it's not, because I guarantee you that's the same person that choosing themselves over you. They choosing themselves first. So when are you going to rise up and start choosing yourself first? When are you going to take a page out of the person's book? That's not thinking twice about you, but they thinking about themselves because they understand self preservation and they understand it better than you do. They understand that if they don't take care of themselves, who the hell else is going to? If they don't make sure that their bills are paid, if they don't make sure that they are being satisfied in life First, before extending help to others, they know nobody's going to come and rescue them. They know that they are harming themselves.

Speaker 1: 18:55

I'm not saying don't help anyone, no. I'm not saying don't work a little hard at your job sometimes because, hell, it needs to happen. I'm not saying any of that. What I am saying is make sure. Make sure that you have enough in your tank for yourself and your needs before you start giving out extra. Now this is the same thing with friends, family, kids, everything. How much more can you give if you haven't taken the proper precautions to put enough in your tank for yourself first? Who can you be mad at If you haven't built end. I said built end. No, no, no. Built in the different tactics that you need in order to keep yourself from harm Going back. I want you to think about what I say at work with your family. I want you to think about the last time you told them no. I want you to think about the last time that person told you no, that wanted something from you. I want you to think about how are you going to build in boundaries. I'm built in a boundary right now.

Speaker 1: 21:52

Some people say that you know, oh, people who want podcast. You know. You know you got to have a good quality podcast. Oh, you don't hear all that noise in the background. I say hell, I got a message to give you. If you don't want it, don't listen, but I'm gonna do what I need to do. So if you hear anything in the background, you need to mind your business and get the message that's being delivered, not Looking for extra clarity. I'm being real. At this point You're getting me.

Speaker 1: 22:26

If you were sitting here in my studio right now on my couch at the cozy cottage, I would still be sewing and talking shit to you. Self preservation, I am not Changing those things, especially when it's on my time, on my budget, and I'm providing, I Want to say, helpful material. It may not be the crystal clear thing. I'm not a Audio person. This is not that type of studio, but I'm having a conversation with my friend Now. On the other hand, if this was my nine to five and they had certain rules and things that I could not do, then I would abide by those rules. But I will also have built in some preservation to remain as authentically me as possible and I Can't show, wouldn't be doing it in my studio on my time and you know I would be sticking to the nine to five time but still delivering effective, great content.

Speaker 1: 23:57

That boundary only took out pretty much my studio. The coziness of it. It's still let me be authentically me. It just I had to do it on someone else's time because they're paying me. That's part of my self preservation. I mean, I won't be. I can still be me, but I can't sew my canvas the way I want and have the conversation. I have to be in a studio and I have to sit in a chair and I have to Abide by whatever the company standards are. But I'm doing it in my way too, because I'm still giving you me true parts of me and when I say that you might true party, you're just doing a job. You damn right. I'm just doing my job, but I'm doing it with my skill and still putting my spin on it, still being me. I'm still choosing me first. There rules to follow, but I still need to be me.

Speaker 1: 25:05

So for some places that you can't express yourself in and things that get a little bit harder are with family and Self preservation. When you have family involved or friends, loved ones, period, it's harder. It's a little harder to say no. It's a little easier to feel used after a while and it becomes a little D daunting and discouraging To feel taking advantage of by your family, like feel like your family is putting you in harm's way and not really thinking of who you are. And we go through it as caretakers. We feel used. I'm going to be real. We just feel used by you, feel used by your children. You feel used by your parents, you feel used by your best friend. Sometimes we feel used sometimes and I think that feeling used comes from not having that self preservation tactic installed of what you need to do for yourself and what you need to feel in your life and how you need to feel. We can expect, we cannot expect people to respect how we feel if we haven't expressed it and what we need to feel is to be honest and how you feel.

Speaker 1: 27:23

Self preservation requires honesty. Let's go back to that one day, running from that dog that's chasing you. You are afraid and since you are afraid, you are going to run and you can try to stand in and be big and bad and act all cute in front of whatever girl or guy that's standing there and go ahead and get that ass chopped up. Go ahead and let Fido come and have a snack attack on you, because that's what you're let you. You're let happening. Am I saying that right? I don't think so. That's what you are letting happen to you.

Speaker 1: 28:15

When you don't, when you Don't tell people how you really feel, you're letting and well, you're welcoming see, that's another thing you're welcoming people To treat you however the hell they feel you should be treated. Let me tell you the first thing is not for people to treat you like freaking Gardenas and violets and shit roses stinking my thing I like about these things. So I Want to say garden is I like those little bit better Jasmine's, but anyway, you get my drip. Let you know. People want to treat you how the hell. They want to treat you down like your ass. They don't treat you like. Unlike her, I like him. They think they've been in us and that's not the way to be. But that's how people can be.

Speaker 1: 29:26

So it is your Choice whether you are going to take it or if you are going to say you know, it's time for me to start letting people know the truth of how I feel about them without me. Learn about. Am I hurting your feelings? Am I being a good person? It's time for you to start telling the truth so you can start preserving who you are as a person and stop learning about what the hell people are thinking About you. You deserve so much more. You deserve better than that, and that goes for your job, that goes for your employees. If you are Entrepreneur, that goes for your clients. You know, and the hard part is, you know what you want. Piss some people off. You are going to piss a lot of people off, because this is something new, this is something unexpected. Who the hell told you to get a backbone? Who the hell told you? Who in the hell Told you that you were enough. This is real people Self-preservation you have to build that shit.

Speaker 1: 30:58

Nowadays, you, we don't come equipped with that. Life has changed drastically From social media Time to deal with that. People putting up fronts like these living these extravagant, wonderful lives and stuff and they live this wallet apart, just like you a shit. Worse, you really think you like that bad. And, on the other end, people pretending they actually putting up full vacation fonts and Just it's just all this wild stuff going on. People are finding that they have to pretend in order To believe they have self-preservation in their lives. They have, they have More than what they actually have.

Speaker 1: 31:58

Listen, I don't have time for all of that. You might, I don't. I Am nowhere where I like to be and if you sit in your thinking I got it together because I Got a podcast, sweetheart, email me. I'll show you how to get one. There's no big damn secret. If you feel like you got a message to share, then share it. This is the time.

Speaker 1: 32:58

There's so many ways for People to be seen and heard these days. It's just having the courage to do it there. There's nothing that I have that you can't act. That's anyone talking to well, and there's no one talking to me. Is me talking to you holding mess? Okay, hold your mess, hold your mess.

Speaker 1: 33:23

People is getting messy right now. I'm not drinking. I should be, but I'm not. But Is no one talking to me? Is me talking to you? But I Lower head mercy to things that I do to myself. I'm trying to stab myself with his needle, cuz it's big in um, I'm nervous and I'm talking to you guys and trying to stay focused.

Speaker 1: 33:57

But, yeah, I'm doing something that I'm afraid of right now. One I'm afraid cuz I think I'm a jack-of-the-canvas. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm just being creative. But it's part of my self-preservation. I have to try new things. I have to. If I'm not trying new things, part of my personality is, you know, I feel like I'm losing my brain cells, I feel like I'm drowning and, yes, that that it's. It is something that I feel, it's a feeling that I get and it's serious. So I'm always constantly doing things and piling things on. I Don't know if you're that way or not, but you're not alone if you are, and Most of society's like that too. We're constantly Piling things on, which brings me into our next, the next part of this little chit chat is For.

Speaker 1: 35:06

Self-preservation is why do you have so much on your damn plate? Why don't we constantly feel that we need to have all this stuff on our plate? I'm contemplating half the crap that I'm doing these days trying to figure out why Do I have so much stuff Gather on my plate? And it's like self-preservation again. Simplify your life and that's it. This is the last one I will leave you with today. I probably do a part two because I've missed the episode, so we could continue this self preservation topic and I'm a little right into the second part. But simplifying your life, that's the third thing I want to give you today.

Speaker 1: 36:20

I probably gave you more nuggets than that, but actually deciding that you have too much going on and you need to cut some of that mess out is okay. For some reason, I feel like we've begun to overfill our plates and like wait, we gotta go to someone's soul's baseball game. Johnny's got a baseball game, sarah's got a girl's got a thing. Oh, my God, lacrosse. Someone's soul's going to this. I'm going to this play tonight. I'm going to that party on Friday. I'm going to God. Sit down, just sit down.

Speaker 1: 37:20

It feels like we've become so, so worried about not having anything to do that we packed our schedule so full of everything to do Besides love on ourselves. Pack your schedule with some of that. Everybody is so busy being busy, they just have no time to live. Make your busy, not that busy and I know I was like what the hell does she mean? Make your busy, not that busy? I mean exactly how I just said it. I just make your busy, not that busy.

Speaker 1: 38:43

Decide You're going to start taking some shit away from yourself. Decide some days, not even some days, hell. Start with one day a week. Give yourself one day a week to do nothing. I mean after the stuff you know you have to do, like in this society, we got to work so we can eat and make sure your kids ain't stinking and make sure yourself not stinking. You know what I'm saying Like shower and when you hit that depression state is real hard for somebody out there. If you're feeling down in the dumps and depressed, get up and shower, do your hair, brush your teeth, shave all those things. Fight yourself, just don't fight yourself. Fight, just get up and do something for yourself.

Speaker 1: 39:41

Society has a so pressured that adding one more thing to your plate like a therapist. You got to be a business person. You got to have 50 streams of income to survive. You got to do this, you got to do that. You don't have to do a damn thing. You got to wake up. You got to make enough money to just eat. All the food is all jacked up anyway. Eat as healthy as you can and you live like. Read a book, sit on the beach, hell. Sit on your font porch. Cut the TV off, cut the radio off, but just sit. And if you don't have a porch, get a chance, sit by your damn window and just sit. Just sit. You don't have to keep filling your schedule with so many things to do, just sit down.

Speaker 1: 40:59

All right, guys, I have talked to you for almost 40 minutes, so we'll continue this. I'm going to go to a part two. So that was just going to be the next show or the I'm going to put out. I'm putting out to these. So so we'll connect on part two for a few more tips, because self preservation is a hard topic. It's a boundary that needs to be built. It's personal, it's, it's mystical, it's taboo, it is a little frightening, it's a little joy, it's a little bit of a lot of things, but it's for you and within that, self preservation says it's enough of you when you're willing to tell people, this is what I'm giving you of me, but that's all I'm willing to give you of me, and once you tell them, you stand by it that my sweetheart is your boundary. So I'm going to join you on part two.

Speaker 1: 42:50

I thank you all for listening to me today. I would just like to pass this on Please subscribe to our podcast here. I'm going to get this YouTube channel up and going so you can look in the description and you can go head over and at least join the YouTube page. I'm going to find somebody to help me get these videos up there and make videos for them. It'll just be me talking right now. It's not going to be any live interviews yet with people or any interviews with others Not just yet, but we're going to get there so you can always donate to the show and get a shout out on our next episode. I just want to say I appreciate you and I'll see you next time. You're enough. You just need some self preservation tactics. Okay, guys, I love you and I will talk to you really soon.